what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
