between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
