p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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