Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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