That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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