lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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