"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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