We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
