Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
