it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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