Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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