He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize