she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
