cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
