Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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