1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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