i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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