and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
