Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
