I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
