Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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