it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize