If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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