There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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