i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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