But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
