he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
