how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
