ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
