we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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