hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
