Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
