Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
