is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
