Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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