I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize