If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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