hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
