with your own penis?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
