Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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