You work out of a Hotel?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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