I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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