where am i from again
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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