Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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