I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
