Pappa wants mamma naked
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello