id be glad to
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
