My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
