It's Friday. Sex?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.