life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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