It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have tasted many bathrooms
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
