on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
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What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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