i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
