addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
