Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
