is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize