When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think i got beer on your cat.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
