I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
