sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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