and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
