thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
