He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it glows. i had to have it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
