okay pat passed out under dana's car
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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